This seems to be the theme of my conversations this week with Jesus. At one point I'm pretty sure I whispered this small attempt of objection. Really Jesus? I'm not exactly the poster child for this kind of mess. What are we doing here? This is nuts. This girl right here is an EPICALLY bad example on this topic. Remember Jesus? I'm not the girl for the job.
Well of course You remember. Just like You know every hair on our head and every moment before it begins. Okay then, I obviously need to be brave enough to be bad at something new. Point noted.
A series of things happened during the rest of the week that had me reflecting further. It is bizarre to tell you the truth, when these reflections come to me in spirit. Almost as though I'm feeling the emotions of a human condition even though I might not be personally inflicted by it. I suppose it is my own growth in spiritual obedience. I do not have a very good track record myself so sometimes, this just feels like a mess in its own self.
Back to the spirit showing me this feeling of helplessness. It is like a toxic substance continually engulfing our space. As hard as we try, it surrounds us and we can not help but ingest it. We want to but we can not help ourselves overcome it. It is always there and it is bigger than our will to escape even though we desperately look to a fresh start. Sometimes the change comes but the engulfment returns.
I don't know what the substance represents because it could be any number of things in our lives that pull us away from Jesus. Anything that gets us to ingest helplessness. Some are so strong we might never break free on our own effort. It is literally like bad oxygen, we hold our breath from it as long as we can until we can't fight it off any longer and break. Only to inhale helplessness. Then it tells us, told you so.
I read quite a lot of books and blogs on various human conditions, struggles or suffering. One thing that almost always comes to light is this…Some demons are not possible to overcome without the supernatural strength of God. It just doesn't happen without help. We need it desperately and the last thing Satan wants is for us to have it.
As for me, Jesus seems to be prompting me to serve. ME? The the last person on earth to serve as this kind of example. It's not something I'm going to write about in detail but those struggles…well I completely get it. Easily could be me.
But then Jesus reminded me of a few things that can be easy to forget.
- God uses people who fail because there aren't any other kind around.
- We may be the lighthouse for people who have hit the same rocks.
- We may feel unqualified to be used by God but remember he tends to recruit from the pit, not the pedestal.
As for my other new thing well, enjoy the laugh!
Think like a proton and stay positive.
Loved By Grace,