Not one, not two, not three but four times I tried to write yesterday. I’m not talking just a few thoughts up in my head peeps. I wrote the blog post out four times just like I’m writing now but when I hit publish, the writing disappeared. On top of that, text, devotion, etc. all had been; be still and know that I am God. Okay Jesus, that is crazy obvious. I tried four times to not be still and you SHUT me down. Okay, STILL it is.
I really have no choice. Lol. It’s Saturday, can I write now? I guess we will see…
I grew up in the Detroit area. My grandfather, my parents, my uncle, my entire family worked for Ford Motor Company. I was employed at Ford too in the summers while I was home from college. It’s definitely part of my legacy, I was built Ford tough. I was there for a visit not too long ago and was driving by so many of the buildings I remember visiting as a child.
Back to this week…Therapy was incredibly tough today, yeah that was yesterday (see above). But I was ridiculously strong, stronger than I’ve ever been to date. I’ve talked about this stuff plenty of times before but I’m starting to vocalize it with more precision, more conviction, more strength. I also cried my eyes out in front of the two people in the room, hyperventilating for a moment but it’s all good. Box of used Kleenex tissues shoved in my handbag, fun times. Like I’ve said before it is worth it, reinforces Ford tough. Miriam and I have worked on some breathing techniques, seems nuts but seriously works Loves. I still don’t like yoga though but I don’t know, perhaps I need to give it more of a chance. I haven’t forgotten about the BF stuff Jesus but it’s been busy. I’m still working on it. Now, we didn’t walk out of therapy with an earth shattering road map peeps but that’s the point of therapy, it’s a journey. One step at a time.
Rewind back to the beginning of March. I don’t get to see my aunt very often and when I do it is usually in the midst of busy family activity. It was so nice to be just a few miles away from her new apartment, we went to dinner, just her and I which was the best! We must have sat in Applebee’s for hours talking and laughing, so fun. It was then when I actually spoke words out loud that I hadn’t spoken out loud to date. I had verbalized in different ways but not lay it out there on the table, this is the way it is kind of talk. Ironically she told me a hysterical story about herself, OH EM GEE I had tears rolling laughing so hard! Me to brain, oh my, leave it to my aunt to kick the sh$% out of this subject. I’m not surprised but why did it take forty years for me to hear this story for the first time because she is not shy. I know you want to hear the story but it’s not my non-highlight reel to share peeps. Lol. But I can give you her business card, she is quite entertaining.
I love my aunt beyond words. I could tell her anything and she would not shake in the slightest. She is the best, seriously the best.
Back to here and now…how many Pink songs will we hear on the radio this week, let me count the ways. This is not even funny, like every single time I’m in the vehicle and I do a lot of driving. You want me to go to the Def Leppard concert with all of you…nope sorry I need to be responsible Tuesday. For the tenth time people…oh screw it, I will go to the Def Leppard concert. Yay! It’s 5:00 AM and I’m off to a game soon in the pouring rain bright and early tis the season. The rest of yesterday was nuts, super fun but nuts and I was already fried from Miriam morning. But I’m awake so rise and slay we go again. I will make it, I have to suck it up because it’s my baby’s very first soccer game and he is so excited. I’m so happy for him, it is all he talks about and he is determined that he is playing soccer. We don’t even have shin pads for him, Lord have mercy I’m a terrible mother. WTF! Why did I forget those? I know why, I don’t have soccer kids, I’m not a soccer mom. This kid is relentless so now I’m a soccer mom, just add it to my many titles.
Jesus, I promise I will be extra good the rest of the weekend after those antics last night. Plus I think my head is going to fall off anyway. It’s Easter tomorrow and I can’t wait to spend time with you. Well we do that every day but tomorrow is extra special and so was today (yesterday) but I was being still just in case You forgot. Until the evening…hey I could have been writing. Just saying. 🙂
See, this is the kind of talk we can have with Him, better than not talking to Him at all. I finally got this lesson about avoiding tough talk which is something I needed to hear from Jesus. Trust me, just about an every day reminder for this stubborn ridiculous chica that is myself but He loves me that much to smack me over the head and say listen. I’m really much better most of the time but I mess up sometimes too.
Loved By Grace,