If you follow any of my social media you’ll know how much I adore this show.  This episode…AH-MAY-ZING.  This clip is five minutes of humanity at its best, blown away. Give it a look, you won’t be disappointed.  Disclaimer: You might want to have some tissues close by…

Five things to learn from This Is Us

  • We are never guaranteed tomorrow so cherish every present moment.
  • Family is what we make and it is sure to be a beautiful hot mess. 🙂
  • Shit happens.
  • Love happens.
  • All of this is Love because…This Is Us.

If you follow the show, we know Kevin has struggled throughout his life not feeling noticed, has felt less important than his other two siblings especially over his adopted brother Randall. The grown Kevin is an actor and very much focused on success and his outward appearance.  He is what most would describe as self-centered but he is also deeply insecure which you have to get inside his heart to see.  Kevin hasn’t had a close relationship with his brother Randall and has held a lot of resentment toward him for most of their life.  Now as adults they are growing closer together.

If you follow the show, we know Randall was adopted by caucasian parents and has struggled with that conflicting identity throughout his life. His biological mother died from an overdose and his father left him on the door stop of a fire station. He is intellectually gifted but with that comes a great amount of perfectionism and stress.  The grown Randall has recently met his biological father who is dying from cancer, now living with him in his home.

This episode captures the struggle Randall has with anxiety.  This clip particularly is depicting the terrifying reality of people who live with anxiety.  For people who have panic attacks.  Randall is struggling under the current stress and this attack was very real for him.

Flashback to 2007. I remember the first time I had a full on panic attack.  I’ve always struggled with anxiety but never actual panic episodes until then. It was definitely a scene from chaos not to mention slightly humiliating.  In any case, in my early thirties with two young children at home, a two-year old and a six month old. My son was struggling, we were going to physical therapy several times a week, a baby not sleeping well from digestive issues and the discomfort of an orthotic helmet. It felt like an overwhelming helpless experience and the anxiety sky rocketed.  On a sunny fall afternoon began the intense chest pain.  I felt light-headed and had complete numbness in both arms.  I was breastfeeding and could not nurse that day with the blockage in my chest which caused even more chest pain.  Family was worried and called urgent care.  The nurse instructed emergency be called which I thought was ridiculous, how could I be having a stroke?  I’m thirty years old. But when you are having chest pain at that magnitude you honestly believe you are having a heart attack and a nurse saying stroke does not help matters. Even if you aren’t, how do you know the difference!  I’m still not always convinced of the difference because a lot of peeps have heart attacks right!  In any case, there came the ambulance and me on a stretcher out the front door to the ER having an MRI, ultrasound and the whole nine yards. Nothing was wrong with my heart, brain, chest, nothing.  That is what postpartum depression panic attacks will get you…a beautiful hot mess!

I’m almost 31 now…and my six month old is almost 10.  Isn’t that amazing, he ages and I don’t? Okay, now you pretty much know that 3 is a 4 but a girl can dream loves.  I’ve had my share of panic attacks since that point at high points of stress, just like Randall.  I’m blessed to say I have not had a full on attack in over a year.  Prior to that they were at an all time high, something had to give.  It has been a relief.

It’s also why this episode, this clip blew me away.  Not only is it depicting the experience of a panic attack, it is capturing something much more profound.  The short clip doesn’t show the complete episode so I will summarize.  Moments before Kevin was about to debut his career as a stage actor in an off broadway play. He had left Hollywood in his high paying acting job for something more out of life.  His future in acting is largely on the line depending on the success of this play. Opening night and the theatre is full with paying ticket holders but Randall needed him more. He puts everything on the line to protect his brother, to be there for him in his time of need above his own. He quite literally risks his own well being for someone else.  The header says what would Jack Pearson do, who is Kevin and Randall’s deceased father. It is true, Jack loved these children fiercely above himself. But honestly, this right here is loving like Christ loves. Kevin could have lashed out at Randall on the phone, upset that he couldn’t show up for his play. He could have hung up the phone and cared only about himself then moved on with his night. But he didn’t do either of those things.  Instead he loved beyond himself.

This right here, this is love. ❤️

The last time I had a full on panic attack was not pretty.  I managed to forego a hospital stay but I was pretty damn close with weeks of after care in its wake. Stressful events in life are real and it can be tough especially for anxious wired peeps like Randall and myself. But life goes on, it really does.  People like the Kevin’s in this world are there and we are blessed.

So Kevin, wow, just wow! Yes, he is television character but that is the kind of love I want to be like.  That is Jesus kind of love and why I LOVE this show!

I hope all of you have that too. We are not alone.  You are not alone.

Loved By Grace,