Belonging to a women’s group is one of the best steps I’ve ever taken for myself but I didn’t always feel this way during times past. In fact I would find every reason and excuse not to put myself out there.
Here is the deal though, being a Mom is hard, really hard. But my thoughts today aren’t just for Moms, being a person in a messy world is hard. Geez, it’s just easier to deal with this hot mess on our own because it’s too people-ish out there and everyone is so damn good at judging. No thanks.
Naturally, it’s easier to conclude that keeping this beautiful hot mess to ourselves is the way to go, seriously. Who’s with me? Nobody else seems to have issues and I’m a freaking mess over here. How many of us have convinced ourselves of this truth or better yet, had others tell us some apparent truth about ourselves. Lawd help us.
Mommas, young girls, old girls, happy girls, sad girls, confident girls, lonely girls, girls of any kind. Hear this and I mean really hear it. This kind of self talk or gossip garbage is a huge gigantic fallacy. Life isn’t easy peeps. Nobody ever said it was so why do we try to convince ourselves that it should be? True or false. False!
I’ll never forget sitting in a room with 40 plus women listening to the hot mess truths being read off one by one. We wrote them down anonymously but as group we listened to these daily struggles real people, real women admittedly face within the minutes and days of life. Struggles I’m willing to bet anyone can relate to but instead keep it to ourselves. Some in no particular order…
- At times I feel like I’m failing as a person.
- I’m concerned about my spouse’s substance abuse.
- I have health and weight issues.
- I’ve had to redefine myself as a person.
- I take medication for mental illness.
- I don’t feel like I get enough things done in a day.
- It has been one of the toughest years of my life.
- Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to be alive.
- I have panic and anxiety.
- My life has been full of relationships problems.
- There are days when I feel like I’m drowning.
- I don’t always feel like a good parent.
- I worry constantly.
- How will I get everything done?
- I feel alone.
- Is it just me.
The answer is no, it is not just us. All this within a supportive group and it is still hard to admit or openly talk about. So get out there, be messy, be real because it is where we find the only joyful way to be alive. It’s okay to admit we don’t have it all together. So we need the counseling, we’ve tried every kind of diet, we fail then we try again. Order the take out if we have to, stop trying to have it all together, take the medication, let that task go until tomorrow. Believe caring people are out there. So we’ve made that mistake, life is still good and it goes on.
It’s going to be messy and it’s not going to be easy but it is going to be worth it.
Taken from MOPS International…because it is Momma Monday of course. 🙂
STARRY EYED IS… Seeing the light in the darkness and choosing to live courageously in both. It is opening our eyes to wonder and choosing hope over fear. Starry Eyed is significant acts of kindness that sends ripples of light into the world. It is a choice to live fully and wholly and breathe our way back to life. This year we will run wildly toward wonder, hope, and kindness because we choose to see the light.
Loved By Grace,